Letter 069 Welwyn, 17 June 1876 维尔文 1876年6月17日

Dear Theo, On Monday last, I travelled from Ramsgate 拉姆斯盖特 to London. That is quite a stroll, the moment that I started on my way, it became very hot, and the same heat waited for me on my arrival at Canterbury 坎特伯雷 . That evening, I pushed on 推进 a little bit too long; finally I halted 暂停 in a place where there were many beech trees 山毛榉树 and some elms 榆树 at the edge of a pond; there I rested for a while. The following morning at half past three, when the birds started singing to salute 致敬 the first light of dawn, I started off again. Ah! That was a good walk! At midday I had made Chatham, where one can see in the distance, in the middle of partial flooding of low-lying meadows 草地 , the Thames 泰晤士河 where the boats go; I thought the weather was always grey in these parts. It was there that I met a cart 马车 , which took me a few miles further, but then the driver went into an inn 旅馆 , and as I supposed I would have to wait a long time, I continued on my way. I arrived at the fall of night in the familiar suburbs 郊区 of London and I wound my way through the town by long, long 'roads'. I stayed two days in London, I walked many times from one place to another in the city to make certain visits, particularly to a pastor 牧师 to whom I had already written. I have enclosed a copy of this letter, I sent it to you to let you know that I started to write with the sentiment of "Father, I am not worthy" and "Father, have pity on me". If I find work it will tend towards a position between clergyman 教士 and missionary 传教士 in the suburbs of London, mainly to the working class 工人阶级 population. Don' t breathe a word to anyone about this new idea, Theo.不要把我的想法向任何人透露一点,提奥 My salary at Mr. Stokes's is probably very small, just enough for room and board, then a few hours of freedom to give particular lessons; if there is no free time to spare, I earn all in all eight pounds per year. I continue with my story. I stayed one night with Mr. Reid, the following night with Mr. Gladwell, where they showed great gentleness toward me. Mr. Gladwell kissed me goodnight that evening and it did me good; may it be given to me in the future to prove my friendship for his son now and then. I wanted to go on to Welwyn 维尔文 that very evening, but they kept me back literally by force because of the pouring rain. However, when it began to let up 停止 a little about four o'clock in the morning, I set off for Welwyn. First a long walk from one end of the city to the other, about ten miles (twenty minutes walking each mile). I arrived at five o'clock in the afternoon at our sister' s house, I was happy to see her. She looks well, and her room has Good Friday, Christ in the Garden of Olives, Mater Dolorosa, etc. not framed, but surrounded by ivy 常春藤 , surely very pleasing. My boy, you will think on reading my letter to the pastor: "He is not so bad, he' s good!" But I am sure he is. Whatever he may be, think of him once in a while. A firm handshake from Your loving brother, Vincent [Enclosed letter.] 附信(给一位牧师的信) Reverend Sir, A clergyman's son who, because he has to work for his living, has neither the time nor the money to keep up studies at King's College, and is in any case 无论如何 already a few years older than is usual for those who go there and has not yet even started the preliminary 预备的,初步的 studies in Latin 拉丁文 and Greek 希腊文 , would, all this notwithstanding 尽管如此 , be very glad to find a position connected with the church, albeit the position of a university-educated clergyman is beyond his reach. My father is a clergyman in a village in Holland. I went to school when I was 11, staying on until I was 16. I then had to choose a profession and did not know which to choose. Through the kind offices of one of my uncles, a partner in the firm of Goupil & Cie 古比尔公司 , art dealers and publishers of engravings, I obtained 获得a position in his business in The Hague 海牙 . I was employed in this business for 3 years. From there I went to London to learn English and, after 2 years, moved on to Paris. Various circumstances 环境 have, however, compelled 强迫 me to leave Messrs. G. & Cie., and for the past two months I have been teaching at Mr. Stokes's school in Ramsgate 拉姆斯盖特 . But since my aim 目标 is a position in connection with the church, I must look elsewhere. Although I have not been trained for the church, perhaps my past experience of travels, of living in different countries, of associations 结交 with various people, poor and rich, religious and irreligious, of work of various kinds, days of manual labour followed by days of office work, &c., perhaps also my ability to speak various languages, may in part make up for 补偿 my not having been to a university. But the reason I would much sooner give for commending 推荐 myself to you is my innate 天生的 love of the church and everything to do with the church, which may lie dormant 潜伏着 from time to time but always reawakens 再度觉醒 ; and, if I may say so, although with a sense of great inadequacy 不充分 and imperfection 不完整: the Love of God and of man. And also, when I think of my past life and of my father's house in the village in Holland, a sense of: 'Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee [古]你, and am no more worthy to be called thy [古]你的 Son: make me as one of thy hired servants 仆人 . Be merciful 慈悲的 to me a sinner.' When I lived in London I often attended your church and have not forgotten you. Now I would ask for your recommendation 推荐 as I look for a position, and also that you keep your fatherly eye on me should I find such a position. I have been left a good deal to myself, and I believe your fatherly eye will do me good, now that: The early dew of morning has passed away at noon. Thanking you in anticipation for what you may feel able to do for me…

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